In Which More Geek Speak for Business is Contemplated

My recent entry on using Geek Speak in meetings was pretty Star Wars centric. So I thought I’d take another crack at some strong geek catchphrases you can work into your next staff meeting.

Worfed

The most underappreciated crew member on Star Trek The Next Generation is Lieutenant Worf. As Head of Security you would think his voice would be an important on the bridge. But Worf is nearly always disregarded if not outright told to shut up in many, many episodes! So how does that apply to your staff meeting? Well, there’s always that guy who brings up an idea or makes a comment that is always disregarded by your boss. We have that guy, you know you do too. Like Worf, he’s often right, but that doesn’t really matter. Every time he brings something up he immediately gets “Worfed,” shut down without consideration. Think about it and you will see what a great post meeting discussion it will create.

Getting Worfed

The Big Bad

In Buffy the Vampire Slayer, each season had “The Big Bad” that Buffy had to defeat. While she rarely had a confrontation until the end of the season, The Big Bad’s presence was always felt. Now how might you use this in a meeting? Well, despite all your team’s best intentions, there’s always some part of the firm that will blow up all your best laid plans. Usually that’s Legal who will tell you that despite all the good reasons to do it, it’s inadvisable, risky or flat-out illegal (you should probably pay attention to that last one). But, there’s an even more insidious way to use it. Let’s say someone has a great big idea that, for you, is nothing but a source of extra work. As the idea gets discussed, throw this out there just as the excitement for the idea reaches its peak: “Well, sure, it’s a great idea, but The Big Bad will shut it down as soon as he sees it.” Momentum is immediately killed. Go back to your desk.

Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal

Firefly is a never-ending source of good quotes to use it work. This one doesn’t even need much explanation. Let’s assume you have developed the next big idea. You’ve discussed it with your colleagues, they’ve bought in, and now you’re presenting to the boss (and perhaps The Big Bad). The presentation is going along well when suddenly one of your colleagues unexpectedly, but predictably, dooms your presentation by raising one issue they didn’t bother to mention to you. You can mutter under your breath: “Curse your sudden, but inevitable, betrayal.” They may hear it, they may not, but you’ll feel better. Now go back to your desk and play with your dinosaurs.

Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal

Why, oh why didn’t I take the blue pill?

In The Matrix, the Blue Pill was the one that took you back to your safe existence. The Red Pill took you even further down the rabbit hole. There’s always that opportunity you have at work to take the big risk, push that new idea or take that promotion. Many times Red Pill will work out just fine. But then again, you could get Worfed right in the middle of your presentation. As you head back to your seat feeling rejected and full of remorse for stepping into the line of fire, you can mutter to yourself: “why or why didn’t I take the Blue Pill?”

I’ll be back

Looking back through it, this is a pretty cynical post today. Corporate life can’t be all rejection, betrayal and bitterness can it? Of course not. So next time you’re pitching in that meeting and you get shot down or one of your colleagues stabs you in the back during a meeting, hold your head high. Then as turn your back to them and walk proudly out of the meeting mutter in your best Ahhhnuld impersonation: “I’ll be back.”

That’s all for this week. Can you think of more? Drop them in the comments below.

-Thanks to @cobiegoesboom for some of todays quote ideas